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SYN • View topic - The fucking joke thread
 

 

 

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SYN : Jokes  ~  The fucking joke thread

PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 12:47 am
SynnerJoined: Mon May 15, 2006 6:41 pmPosts: 1290Location: St paddy`s secret stash
i think it's about time i started this shit back up, i aint been around for a long time and i think with my return should come the jokes:

1st joke: monga (joke in itself)

now down to the real shit, i'll do 1 per day depending on the reactions, I don't give a fuck where you're from r what religion, if you don't like it, then don't read it.

2 irishmen are making letter bombs, Pat says 'do you think i've put too much explosives in this envelope?' 'dunno' says mick, 'open it and see' ' but it will explode!' says Pat. Mick says 'don't be fcuking stupid, it's not addressed to you!'



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PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:02 am
SynnerJoined: Mon Nov 01, 2004 2:26 amPosts: 9851Location: Australia
Forum-Nazi'd to the fucking joke board.




Shayne



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PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 1:04 pm
SynnerJoined: Mon May 15, 2006 6:41 pmPosts: 1290Location: St paddy`s secret stash
Wife comes home early and catches her husband having a wank in the kitchen. she rushes over and gives him the blow job of his life.

After it he asks 'we haven't had sex for 6 months and suddenly this! Why?'

she answers.. 'i just washed the floor this mornin. I'd rather brush my teeth than clean the fucking floor again'.



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PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 1:27 pm
User avatarSynnerJoined: Tue May 24, 2005 4:25 pmPosts: 3922Location: MADCHESTER!
;D



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 12, 2010 4:36 am
SynnerJoined: Mon Nov 01, 2004 2:26 amPosts: 9851Location: Australia
A bloke and his missus were sitting watching a TV program about psychology that was explaining the phenomenon of mixed emotions. The bloke turned to his wife and said, "That's a load of crap".

"I bet you cant tell me anything that will make me both happy and sad at the same time".

She thought about it for a bit and replied, "Out of all your friends, you have the biggest dick!".




Shayne



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 12, 2010 4:12 pm
User avatarSynnerJoined: Tue Dec 19, 2006 4:05 pmPosts: 862
LMFAO fkn rolled!



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 12, 2010 5:58 pm
User avatarSynnerJoined: Tue May 24, 2005 4:25 pmPosts: 3922Location: MADCHESTER!
I saw this guy in an Italian restaurant ordering pizza in fluent Italian. The waiter seemed to appreciate his willingness to accept their culture.

So, I tried the same thing in our local Chinese restaurant.

I squinted my eyes and shouted, "Harro! Spesha frah raice prease!" But instead of showing appreciation, they took the upturned prawn-cracker basket from my head and told me to get out.



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 12, 2010 6:53 pm
SynnerJoined: Mon Nov 01, 2004 2:26 amPosts: 9851Location: Australia
Harro! Chynee Wahhk! Tayk awda pree!




Shayne



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 12, 2010 7:02 pm
SynnerJoined: Mon May 15, 2006 6:41 pmPosts: 1290Location: St paddy`s secret stash
hahaha wicked

Irishman weighs 20 stone, so his doctor puts him on a diet. 'i want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day and repeat this for 2 weeks, you should loose 5lbs. 'when paddy returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost 4 stone. 'that's amazing the doc said'...

Paddy nodded 'I'll tell you be Jesus, i taut i was gonna drop dead by da 3rd day.'
' what from the hunger?' said the doc.
'no, from all the fuckin skippin!'



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 10:33 pm
User avatarSynnerJoined: Tue May 24, 2005 4:25 pmPosts: 3922Location: MADCHESTER!
I went to a restaurant for dinner last night. It was a nice meal and so i decided to order a dessert.

So I asked the waiter how much the pie was.

"£3.14 sir," he replied.

"That's funny," I chuckled.

"What's that sir?" He asked.

"That Down's syndrome boy just tried to hug a heater and burnt himself."

We both had a good laugh.



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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 5:15 pm
User avatarSynnerJoined: Tue May 24, 2005 4:25 pmPosts: 3922Location: MADCHESTER!
All I'm saying is that if it takes 368 American lives to kill one paki on a plane, that's a price I'm willing to pay.



:)



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 10:44 am
SynnerJoined: Mon May 15, 2006 6:41 pmPosts: 1290Location: St paddy`s secret stash
woman sees a sign in a pet shop window -FANNY LICKING FROGS £25

in she goes. 'id like to see the fanny licking frog'. the bloke behind the counter says BONJOUR



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PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 11:39 am
SynnerJoined: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:36 pmPosts: 371
Dad cooks deer and doesn't tell the kids what it is. He only gives them one clue "it's what your mother calls me". the boy yells "don;t fucking eat it, it's a knob"



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Mong = Dirty Manc
Ixion = Jail bait
Style = Cock
Kev = well you name it everything thats wrong
Shayne = Cunt aka convict
Bru = Dutch Minger who likes Midget porn
Numitor = is a drunk and a total tosser
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