Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/syn/synsquad.com/forum/includes/bbcode.php on line 494
[phpBB Debug] PHP Notice: in file /includes/functions.php on line 3824: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /includes/bbcode.php:494)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Notice: in file /includes/functions.php on line 3826: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /includes/bbcode.php:494)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Notice: in file /includes/functions.php on line 3827: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /includes/bbcode.php:494)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Notice: in file /includes/functions.php on line 3828: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /includes/bbcode.php:494)
SYN • View topic - Baked Beans -* **This is hilarious!*
 

 

 

Author Message

SYN : Jokes  ~  Baked Beans -* **This is hilarious!*

PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 7:23 pm
User avatarSynnerJoined: Tue Nov 02, 2004 12:11 amPosts: 1476Location: Vass, North Carolina
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any
ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner
tonight."

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was abo ut to remove my
blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I let off three more. The smell was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned
the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



_________________
† Dark-SYN- † Doom-SYN- Gone but NEVER forgotten


Image
 *Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn and damn be the fool who gets in her way*
Offline Profile
PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 7:41 pm
SynnerJoined: Mon Nov 01, 2004 2:26 amPosts: 9851Location: Australia
lmao :rotf:




Shayne



_________________


Image

Image

† Acores-SYN- † Dr. Evil~TAG † Doom-SYN- † Xerxes-SYN-
Offline Profile
PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2009 4:51 am
SynnerJoined: Sat May 30, 2009 9:47 pmPosts: 9
lol i feel sorry for the girl man she woulda gotten a hard time 8)







Shayla


Offline Profile
PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 10:45 pm
SynnerJoined: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:36 pmPosts: 371
hahahahahahahahaha i am in bloody fits hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

you can just picture it lmfao ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: ;D ;D ;D ;D



_________________
Mong = Dirty Manc
Ixion = Jail bait
Style = Cock
Kev = well you name it everything thats wrong
Shayne = Cunt aka convict
Bru = Dutch Minger who likes Midget porn
Numitor = is a drunk and a total tosser
Offline Profile
PostPosted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 7:38 pm
User avatarSynnerJoined: Tue May 16, 2006 3:33 pmPosts: 379Location: England, Southampton
LOL thats awesome :rotf:



_________________
Image
Offline Profile

Display posts from previous:  Sort by:

All times are UTC
Page 1 of 1
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest
Post new topic  Reply to topic
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum
cron